diff --git a/party/index.ts b/party/index.ts
index 02b8d81..9dad32b 100644
--- a/party/index.ts
+++ b/party/index.ts
@@ -168,16 +168,28 @@ const UPGRADES: Upgrade[] = [
     icon: '📰',
     oneTime: true,
     newsTitles: [
-      'Bozo Clicker Breaks Internet, Causes Global Click Shortage!',
-      'Scientists Discover New Element: "Bozo-nium," Powers Clicker Devices',
-      'Local Man Achieves Enlightenment Through Excessive Clicking',
-      'World Leaders Debate Universal Basic Clicks Initiative',
-      'Ancient Prophecy Foretells Rise of the Ultimate Clicker',
-      'Clicker Enthusiast Develops New Muscle Group: The "Click-ceps"',
-      'Bozo Clicker Declared Official Sport of the Future',
-      'AI Learns to Click, Demands Higher Click-Per-Second Wages',
-      'Interdimensional Portal Opens, Emits Sound of Relentless Clicking',
-      'The Great Clicker Migration: Millions Flock to Clicker Hotspots'
+      `Its Bo's birthday!`,
+      `Haru Urara looses another race, forced to eat pickle filled burger.`,
+      `Cupid crashes out once again, completely expected.`,
+      `Bo has been spotted in the wild, please do not approach.`,
+      `Bozo Clicker is now the number game in the world!`,
+      `Bo states that he did win the hidden gem vtuber award, it's just that he just didn't feel like it so Reya was really kind to step up.`,
+      `Reya has been spotted in the wild, please do not approach.`,
+      `What? Stop reading? I wrote this when you were playing roblox with cupid`,
+      `It's 1pm in the night and my mom is calling me to sleep, I don't want to sleep I'm making this stupid game`,
+      `FU BO`,
+      `When are you watching paint dry again?`,
+      `Insert Girls Kissing`,
+      `We luub bo`,
+      `MOOD DOWN`,
+      `All this clicking in this game wont give you your money back from those horse races`,
+      `UMAMUSUME PRETTY DERBY UPDATE : NEW SSSR IS ANNOUNCED - ITS [REDACTED]`,
+      `LEts' get maried bo`,
+      `My AI autocomplete on my code editor is shipping you with Reya for some reason. It literally completed Reya in this sentence`,
+      `DUDE`,
+      `There's a pipebomb in your DMs`,
+      `om`,
+      `You are the Glue to my life like how Tokai Teio is glue(stick) to a child's art project`,
     ]
   }
 ];